Ah. Back in Chiang Mai. It felt good. Even though we got in early Saturday morning we (Saleem, Alki and me, with a little bit of Poom) made the most of.
First stop – the mall, Central. Not my mall called Central with my gym and my khao man gai, but the older, cheaper, kind of funny smelling mall called Central, closer to my apartment.
I made us go see a Thai movie. Thai movies are really ridiculous. It’s like every movie has a check-list of every genre and stupid cliché possible and they just throw try to shove as many as possible into an hour and a half. The one we saw was about a Thai country music band that plays at festivals at temples all of Thailand. Some highlights…
• A random severed leg falling from the sky onto a mat where 5 guys are playing poker – with nothing before and nothing after.
• The band and crew go into a lake called Leach Lake and one guy says it’s safe and it was named a long time ago, but then he walks out with an oversized leach on his back. See, I was predicting that the guy would become ill because the gigantic leach would suck all his blood out and then the underdog guy would finally have his chance to shine, but after the guy got back on the bus with the leach on his back, it was never brought up again.
• A random attempted rape scene that was way over dramatic and after the scene was over wasn’t brought up again.
• Use of cartoon noises after every line of dialogue.
• The costume and makeup ladyboys being ever-so-sassy
• They go to the house of the main character’s mom and steal all the fruit and break the stairs therefore leaving the mother stuck in her house forever and the boy walks off and says see you again next year.
It was ridiculous. One thing that the cheap mall has that my fancy one doesn’t is an awesome karaoke place that I went to for my birthday, so we went there for an hour too. My mall has karaoke, but it’s totally corporate and doesn’t have the themed rooms like the cheap mall.
Sunday we went to Huay Teung Tao, which is a resevoir about 10 or 15 minutes from the city. It’s really nice. It’s on the itinerary for when my family comes. You go, pick an area, park and sit either on the beach, in a hut on the beach or in a hut on the water. All around the water is trees and it’s just cool! And then you order food and eat! And you can rent inner tubes and paddleboats! Thai teenagers come in groups of 20 and bring guitars and sing Thai pop songs.
Then the Sunday Walking Street Market! I can’t get enough of that place. So while my Sunday ritual is walking around the market, Poom likes to experience the Sunday Walking Street by sitting at a bar drinking, so we joined him for a bit. But this Sunday was a Buddha Day when you’re not allowed to serve beer and alcohol so they serve the beer in Hello Kitty cups. Because obviously if it’s being served in a Hello Kitty cup it couldn’t possibly be beer!
On Monday our first mission was to sign up for a cooking class. After an hour long discussion with Alki about food and cooking Saleem admitted he was trying to decide if, while in Chiang Mai he should do a trek or a cooking class. Alki said, “TREKKING? ARE YOU KIDDING??? YOU WANT TO DO A COOKING CLASS!!! I WANT TO GO TOO!!!” and then I said, “Uh, me too?!?”
Because it’s Thailand and everything runs on commission, Poom came with us to cash in on the commission. Pretty much any Thai person can get 10% or more on anything they accompany a foreigner to. Tourism stuff is the easiest, you don’t even need to ask, but for pretty much anything else – a restaurant, a spa, a store, whatever, from what I understand, you just ask and then you get at least 10%. This is another reason it makes it hard to not feel like a walking ATM while living in Thailand. Anyway, Poom was cool back then, and we had to pay the same price anyway, and he had been pretty much driving us around everywhere, so he got our commission. He thanked us with drinks later.
After that, Alki and I got haircuts. They do these intense head massages. It’s really nice. And we also got to look like Asian pop stars for a day. Then I took them to one of my first favorite Thai massage places. Thai massage is so strange because every person does it differently. I had a 19-year-old boy named Num who I had had 8 months ago and I remembered him, but I figured he wouldn’t remember me. But he did. He was good. Alki had a woman who apparently seemed like she didn’t care much and was just doing her thing, but it was pretty repetitive and not very strong. Saleem had the opposite experience. He had an older lady that was just all out. In the beginning, she would do something and ask, “jep mai?” which means “does it hurt?” and I would tell him to say, “mai jep, kap” which means “nope, doesn’t hurt.” But then the lady got more comfortable with Saleem. And slowly her smile got wider and her laugh turned slightly evil. Saleem actually got to a point where he looked like he was about to cry. Alki was totally jealous. She thought her lady was boring. I think that may have been Saleem’s last Thai massage.
Then we hit up Monk Chat. It’s where you can go to temple and talk to monks and ask them anything you want. I went a couple times when I first got here but for the most part there’s a high turnover rate and it’s hard to get know actual people, and without knowing them, they’re kind of boring because they just say what they think you want to hear. That’s why my Laos monk buddies were so much more interesting. When Alki said what do you miss, the one monk said “beer” and at Monk Chat when you say what do you miss they give cheesy answers like, “Nothing, I find this lifestyle very fulfilling.” Oh come on, really?
One monk we talked to was from Cambodia. We asked if he went to see his family and he said yeah and I asked him how he goes back and forth to see his family. “I have to get a re-entry permit before I leave. It’s 1,000 baht.”
“Oh! Me too! Wait, do you have a non-immigrant visa?”
“Yes, I do.”
“Oh wow, me too! I didn’t think monks would have the same visa as English teachers.”
That was probably the most interesting thing I learned that day. Alki and I talked to this Cambodian one while Saleem talked to a different one and got totally blown off by him. I can’t remember the story exactly but it something like the monk asked for the time, Saleem said it was 6pm, the monk said he had to go because he had an appointment at his temple at 6:30, and then someone pointed out that it was actually only 5pm, and then the monk said, “Oh, well, I have to walk and my temple is 15 kilometers away. Good bye.” Saleem definitely felt insulted.
After Monk Chat, it was almost sunset, so we headed over to the park to watch the afternoon festivities. Sunset is my favorite time to go there, but I’m usually at work, so this was a real treat for me. We watched Thai guys play takaw, this Thai sport with a wicker ball that they either use to play a volleyball/soccer game with a net, or stand in a circle underneath a net and they use parts of their body to try to get it in the net. It’s fun to watch. The ladies do an aerobics class to techno versions of cheesy Thai pop songs in all sorts of amazing outfits. Sometimes old men and kids join in too. There’s a track so you also get to watch Thai people run which is something not so common outside of the park and then there are families eating on mats, teenagers holding hands, kids playing on a playground and people walking around selling eggs, fruit, peanuts and massages. We went with eggs but skipped the other stuff. The eggs are just boiled eggs on a stick served with soy sauce. The egg seller guy was from Issan where they speak a dialect much closer to Lao than Thai, so Alki and I said thanks in Lao and he got this huge smile on his face. It was cute.
Dinner was at a Japanese restaurant where my friend Yong works. At dinner we reflected on what a cool day it was and we decided to write a list of challenges we faced during the day. We decided our biggest challenges were…
1) Deciding on a cooking class. (We had gone to cooking class alley with at least 6 choices)
2) Crossing the street.
3) Deciding where to sit while at the park.
4) Not falling asleep during the head massage at the salon.
Tuesday was our cooking class day! SO MUCH FUN!!! We decided on a class that was held on an organic farm in the middle of nowhere. We met in the old city near AUA, and then went to a market somewhere. The market had all kinds of animals and animal parts I didn’t even know people liked to eat! And big bags of MSG too! Oh, Thailand… (Pictures)
Then we kept driving until we got to the farm. At the farm, we first took a tour of the organic farm and our guide explained about all the different herbs and spices, fruits and vegetables they had on the farm. We got to wear really cool hats and aprons and taste everything.
Then we started cooking! Green Curry, Som Tam (spicy papaya salad) and Chicken and Cashews before (and for) lunch, and then Pad Thai and Mango and Sticky Rice after lunch.
I usually don’t order Green Curry or Som Tam because they’re spicy and I’m a wimp, but I got to make wimpy versions of them that I actually really enjoyed! And the other three dishes are three of my favorite dishes anyway, so the whole day was fantastic. Eating all of it definitely went against me and Alki’s “Operation: Lose 10 Pounds” but it was gooooood. Alki even scooped up other people’s extra mangoes and sticky rice to take home.
Wednesday we decided to feel uncomfortably full again, so we went to Pai Sabai, a restaurant, which is really just a rich English woman’s fancy backyard where you can get nice quiches, pies, coffee and bread. Then we walked around Wat U-Mong, which is different from the other temples in Chiang Mai. It’s a big, forest temple so the focus is meditation rather than studying Buddha’s teachings, like most of the temples in the city. There are always lots of white guy monks there. It’s kind of weird. Either way, it’s really pretty and they have tables, so we set up shop and played Halvzies for a while. Slapping on a pile on cards on stone table and arguing over if a pinky counts or not probably isn’t in the spirit of the temple, but no one looked at us any funnier than the standard “white people being white people” funny looks so I think we were okay.
Then I realized Saleem hadn’t been to the best mall in Chiang Mai, so we went to my mall. We bought tickets to see Ratatouille and then split up so that Saleem could go play video games while Alki and I had our own session of What Not To Wear in the Robinson (fancy department store) dressing room.
It was amazing. We learned a lot of stuff about me and clothing and what looks good and not. Unfortunately, our learning led us to the conclusion that nothing in store fit the criteria of what looked, but that’s ok. It was a learning experience.
The movie was good and it made Alki miss Paris.
Thursday Saleem, Alki and I headed up to Pai, the little hippie mountain village 3 hours north of Chiang Mai I had been to one time before right after returning from Greece. It was as beautiful and as I remembered. The village itself is annoying cause I don’t like young hippies who walk into 7-11 with no shoes on (No Thai person would ever walk around with no shoes on and the hippie wouldn’t do that in their own country either) and I don’t like old strung out smelly hippies who corner you to tell you how much better things were in the past. So the village is lame but the area is amazing. So the best thing to do is to rent a motorbike and head out and see it. Saleem and Alki rented some automatic scooters and I treated myself to a 125cc motorbike (my one in Chiang Mai is 97cc. It’s a nice difference). We took off and headed towards the Pai Hot Springs a couple of kilos out of town. I hadn’t gone last time because I was too embarrassed to try to speak Thai to get a reduced price and the 400 baht price for foreigners (it’s 20 baht for Thais) seemed ridiculous.
But I was more confident and knew more and Poom had prepped me on some key phrases, so the three of us drove there and I gave my schpeal to the guy at the gate. “I’m not a tourist, I live here. I’ve been teaching English in Chiang Mai for a year. I pay taxes. Here is my tax card. I can read and write Thai also. I can’t pay 400 baht. Can I please pay the Thai price?” Poom had told me to say, “I have a Thai husband. I’m Thai now.” But I thought that would be a little unnecessary. With the tax card I thought I’d be set, but the dude at the gate wasn’t having it! I said, ok ok, I’ll pay 100 baht. He said 400. I decided 200 was the most I’d pay and he still said no, so I huffed away and got back on the bike.
STUPID!!!!! I wonder if the Thai husband line would have helped.
Anyway, we left. We then went to the Pai Canyons! That was free. It was nice. At the canyons we talked to a guy selling drinks and he showed us another hot spring. He said it was free.
It was 25 kilos away and free, but the one major difference was that the 400 baht hot springs are a temperature you can swim and chill in. The free ones are just boiling water. I forgot the connection with visibly boiling water and extremely hot temperatures, so after parking the bike I stuck my foot in and said, “oh wow, this is actually pretty AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!” I’m an idiot.
Don’t put your feet in boiling water. So we sat and looked and kind of climbed around to try to find an area that wasn’t boiling. Eventually we found a spot. It wasn’t very exciting or relaxing. But the drive out was nice and no one charged us 400 baht.
On the way back we had to find gas. We drove through a random village and people were coming out of their homes and staring. We were like a three person parade. I used my Thai but messed up.
There are a lot of words in Thai that are just English words said with a Thai accent. Or a word vaguely related said with a Thai accent. I thought gas was one of them because the word “nam oi” (nam means water or liquid, oi would be the Thai pronunciation of oil) sounded familiar in my head. So I went around asking where we could find some nam oi. When we started getting funny looks I pointed to the gas tank and they laughed and said “nam man!” oh right. That’s the word for oil and gas. So what’s nam oi? Oyster sauce! So I was driving around town asking where I could find some oyster sauce. Oops.
Right before returning home we stopped at the 7-11 and Saleem realized that he couldn’t turn his bike off. His key had fallen out of the ignition somewhere along our adventure. It’s a common thing and most people keep their keys on a carabineer or a keychain they can put around one of the mirrors in case that happens. Saleem hadn’t known to do that. Oops.
We got back to our guesthouse around 7. The first time I was there I stayed in a room usually allocated for staff members of a massage shop located next to a guesthouse. This was because every place (most bungalow places) I looked at was either full or more expensive than I wanted to pay. This time we had three people so we looked for a place where we could have three people in one bungalow. Your choices are mountain view, river view or city, so we went with the mountain view. We headed in that direction but didn’t find anything we liked. Finally we got to a place that worked. Three mattresses in one room with a shared bathroom with beautiful beautiful views of the mountains and the valleys and all of it. So the thing about this place. When we got there this girl was eating something, so I asked in Thai what are you eating. She looked at me, stared, no smile, and said, “Hello.” And I said, “Hi.” And then she said again, “Hello.” And then I realized she looked kind of familiar so I said, “Oh! Hi!” But still couldn’t place her. Then she said “Hello” in exactly the same voice and with the exactly same stare as the first time. She’s weird.
I realized it was one of my old students. And not only that, she was this overachieving, memorizing the book before class therefore simultaneously confusing and annoying the rest of the class, obsessed with France, freaking everyone else in the class out, old student. Before we went on our adventure we talked a little bit and she said, “I will make you dinner tonight. Do not go out to eat. Come back here.” Kind of like a robot. A little bit nice, a little bit scary.
It turns out that her uncle owns the place and she left Chiang Mai to help him run it because his wife went crazy after some big floods where she lost everything. Kind of sad. We got back for dinner and it was good. Like really good, but kind of awkward too. After dinner we tried to go into town.
“Where are you going now?”
“Um, we’re going to go into town. Probably drink some tea.”
“I have tea here. I can make you tea here. You can stay here.”
“That’s ok. We’re probably going to go see some jazz.”
“Well. I will make you breakfast tomorrow.”
“Oh, wow thanks. But I think we’ll just go into town to eat tomorrow. Probably get some farang breakfast.”
“I can cook farang breakfast too.”
“We really appreciate it, but I think we’re going to go into town.”
The whole offering/accepting food thing is weird. I don’t want to be rude but I also don’t want to be held hostage.
Pai considers itself the, um, Austin, TX of Thailand as in the live music capital. So we went to check out “the scene”, but all we found was reggae band singing Bob Marley songs. Thai reggae bands singing Bob Marley songs is on the list of “Things in Thailand I used to kind of enjoy but now couldn’t care less about and have maybe started to hate”. And it’s been on that list for a while. Definitely before going to Pai. I refused to support the Thai dreadlocks. Saleem and Alki were okay with that.
Friday we did another bike trip in the morning. We found ourselves in a little Chinese village, which was pretty cool. There was a really really steep hill we drove up and I thought at the top would be a temple or a place to eat or something but it just turned from a cement road into a rocky road to a dirt road into no road. So then we turned around and went down with the bikes in neutral. The whole way up we had been getting these, “And what exactly do you think you’re going to find?” looks, appropriately followed by “Told you so” looks on the way down.
Friday afternoon I had to go back by myself so I could get my teaching schedule and materials for the new Saturday term. Ah work!!! The van that was supposed to leave at 11:30 left around 2:30. I might be exaggerating. Either way, anyone having to do anything in Chiang Mai should leave Pai a day early. The last time I went back there was an Israeli couple that was simultaneously puking and complaining the whole way back. They had booked a 9:00am van ride to get back in time for a 1:00pm flight. That was stupid. That van even left on time but I’m sure they missed their flight.
Saturday was my first day back at work in 6 weeks! It was fun. Alki came back from Pai Saturday afternoon, met me at AUA and I snuck her into the second half of my afternoon class. Starting on a Saturday was nice because Sunday and Monday I had off again. Woo hoo!
Oh Sunday. Sadness day. Alki’s last Sunday Walking Street. She left like 4 hours ahead of me so she could do all her shopping. We got foot massages and coconut juice, had dinner at my favorite Indian place with a couple of couchsurfers and went to a restaurant on the river for dessert.
Monday we got everything together, went to AUA to use internet and air conditioning, stopped by some used bookstores, and headed for the train station so Alki could be on her way to Bangkok to head back to Paris.
OH SO SAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So that was it. Me and Alki’s 4 Week Adventure.
Other highlights between then (August 6th) and now (October 11th, 2007)
August 11th – 13th – went to Lampang with Poom to see his Mom for Mother’s Day. I met his… sister (also named Poom, but with a shorter vowel sound and a different tone), 13 year old niece, other sister, brother-in-law, best friend’s mom, best friend’s sister, best friend’s sister’s kids, mom, aunt, dad, step-mom and about a third of his graduating class because it was also the weekend of his high school reunion. That was an experience. The reunion was in two parts. The first part was a small group of friends at a fishing place and the second was a big party at a hotel with everyone. Poom told me that because he went to a Christian school all the guys would be able to speak English, but the girlfriends and wives probably wouldn’t. We walked into the fishing place and it was only guys, no girls and none of them spoke English. That was weird. Eventually another couple came and the girl spoke a little English. Most of his family and friends can’t speak much English. I realized I can’t speak much Thai. It was the first time that I really felt like I actually disappointed people with my lack of Thai.
August 25th – Poom and I broke up. He’s, uh, not really very good boyfriend material. Cool guy, terrible boyfriend. We’ll just leave it at that.
September 3rd – Went on an adventure with Nong. My friend Nong works 13 hours a day, usually 7 days a week so when she gets a day off she makes the most of it. We checked out some caves up in the mountains and then a hot springs complex that I had heard about for a while. The hot springs place has a couple of different areas. I went swimming in one area and watched people boil eggs in another.
September 14th – End of weekday classes at AUA. I had taught Level 1 and Level 11. I made my Level 1 kids sing Zombie by the Cranberries and turned it into an American Idol competition. It was amazing.
September 17th – Lee’s last night in Chiang Mai. I met Lee at a bar pretty soon after moving to Chiang Mai and started hanging out with him a lot when Jeff went home. At first I was scared about Jeff coming back cause he’s kind of America/military hater and Lee used to be in the US Army, but they ended up hitting it off really well and the three of us were good friends. Caroline and Miriam were my girls, but they had boyfriends and didn’t go out much. Jeff and Lee were my boys, and I’d go out with them a lot. So first Jeff left, and then Lee left. He’s in Prauge right now teaching English and will head back to the States to do grad school in January.
September 29th – BURMA RALLY!!!!!!!!!! (New Blog post coming soon)
October 5th – My friend Chem came to visit. He’s Filipino and teaches English in a city near Bangkok. Schools are on break now and he had some time before going home to The Philippines so he came up here to see “The Rose of the North”. On Saturday night I asked his if he wanted some Filipino food and he got really excited, so I brought him to a place I had seen signs for but had (stupidly) been too scared to go to by myself. We walked in and got stared at. (Yeah, the staring thing happens a lot.) But it was the whole place, all at once. Someone walked over and said, “Um. Can I help you?”
“Uh yeah, can we eat dinner?”
“Hmm… just a moment…” We followed her inside and saw there was a buffet set up. Just then this woman comes out and looks at us, “Yes?”
”Oh, I’m sorry. It looks like you guys are having a private party. We can come back another time.”
“No, no problem! It’s my birthday. Join the buffet! Then you can wash dishes, ok?”
“Um, sure?!?! Thanks!?!”
It was the owner, Annie’s, 60th birthday. The place was filled with every Filipino living in Chiang Mai. Now Chem’s gradfather was Spanish so he doesn’t look like the average Filipino, and he grew up speaking English, so when he busted out his Tagalog (which he started learning at age 7) and said, “I’m Filipino!” everyone was shocked and kind of relieved I think. We ate a ton of really good food and eventually the show began. Annie started it off by singing The Carpenters. Then the lounge singer sang some more. Then people started giving Happy Birthday speeches. Since Filipinos are all super Catholic there was a lot of god talk too. And dancers from “Singles for Christ” did a little hip hop dance number with a lot of very suggestive dance moves that I don’t think Jesus would be very happy with. I don’t get it. So having safe, private, pre-marital sex is bad, but teenagers dancing like strippers in front of a room of middle aged devout Catholics isn’t? Come on. Something’s wrong here.
Anyway, I learned how to say, “It’s delicious!” “Thank you!” and “Happy Birthday!” in Tagalog. I met the local Chiang Mai Filipino community who mostly taught English in public schools, taught religious stuff at Christian schools and colleges or were singers at fancy hotels. They all speak English, some as their first language (like Chem), but it’s all with an accent I associate more with Mexico and South America than Spain. It was weird. I’m not use to Southeast Asians sounding Mexican. I hope I’m not being politically incorrect. We didn’t end up washing dishes and we went back again on Chem’s last night to order and pay for a real meal.
October 11th – Today, (right now actually) I have to find out if I’m going to keep working at AUA for the next 10 Saturdays or not. I’m finishing the weekday classes in 3 weeks. Then I’m done.
AH!!! I don’t know what I’m going to do.
Burma blog coming soon.
